Venus Day: Full Moon weekend, Mercury Shadow period, Saturn, Jupiter square, Mercury Uranus square, Mars Gemini 07.19.2024

 whenever there is a harsh, direct aspect to Pluto, I am always aware that things will never go back to the old because we are being illuminated like a light flashing through a dark room. A sprinkle of deep waves rushes through the mind. 

We are experiencing a Mercury shadow and a second Capricorn moon. At 29 degrees, a critical degree that composes the energy of LEO. Twenty-nine breaks down to an eleven which will be a 2, the number relating to the Moon.

 Thoth is associated with this energy. 

Personally speaking.. this signature gives me very much wisdom. The sight that is always overhead and sometimes anywhere else a vantage can be consumed. Connecting to so many realms through existence, consistently returning in similarity, yet a new species. 

I've been watching the birds more these days. Their chips and their tones. I even had a bird fly to me while I was in the midst of a deeply transformative thought and it appeared at my window. I laughed. Moon in 6th House. I have to watch the animals too. They all have a way of sending us information about ourselves as well as the old world. They encourage us to ascend by learning new things. Gemini energy is getting a new wave with Jupiter's 13-month transit. 

Going back to the point...

Again, Capricorn has a specific point to make. It is most often referenced as the disciplinary parent of the household, and not necessarily gender specific, while obviously holding the feminine-masculine balance. Where is Capricorn 29 degrees in your chart?

Are you reading Western or Eastern, or both?

What house system are you using?

There's a need to speak the same language to complete the song in each tongue. In the Indigenous tribes of the old world, each tribe had a melody that had its own sound but when sung together created a song. Completion, whole. Something to marvel at when a choir is singing beautifully. Almost as if it is a Leo Woman, always having the attention without asking for it. 

Saturn is bringing to our attention ways we can improve ourselves by learning a new thing or ten, with Jupiter, that can contrast some of our ideals that are connected to loss, via Saturn Pisces. Are we willing to give everything up just to receive a cornucopia of blessings?

Mercury going into shadow Leo 23 on Venus day (July 19), ask yourself if you feel that square coming?

Mars is 29 Taurus and will be in Gemini soon. However, Uranus Taurus is going to be awakening for all of us on Mother Earth. Our ego is traded for peace and longevity. Our bold pride in being number one for self-loving traded for the company of hard labor channeled with deep appreciation. Being able to slow down on the fire and be a slow burn. Evaluating is Virgo-esque, where the Mercury Rx will kick off. 

Try not to pick yourselves apart like a bird pecking it's prey... 

Use your vantage points of sight, perspectives, faith even, to see the full picture as wide as you may.

Love, 

Chiron to Chiron: Double Healing

 Over the past weekend, there was a huge Chiron transit hitting me both ways.

My natal Chiron in Cancer was hit by the Sun in Cancer, and the transiting Chiron in Aries was hitting my Natal Sun in a fire trine.

I enjoyed the new moon weekend, I took care of myself and my body and had some time alone with my baby while my oldest daughter was visiting her family.

Monday comes and we head downtown to meet my other mother and her grandchildren for lunch at the park.

I recently created a community project and was looking for information about how to do it all and finding legit resources for me to grow with.

We get there and talk about the new nonprofit that I created for children and how I wish to start working on a project for a new care center. I told her I didn’t have any ideas from other people because I didn’t know anyone who is doing what I did. She gave me a lot to think over and resources to support me.

As I was on my way home, I felt that I should tell her how much she has impacted my life and how much I appreciate her. If it wasn’t for her speaking on the binding power of religious cycles, I would have been stuck on whether I should leave or stay to please my mother.

I would go on to state how much loss I experienced in the relationship with my mother, which was already hard for me since early on and she insisted that she would be present.

I remember after getting home from the day I saw a tweet from an inspirational coach that spoke on growing up in isolation and how it affected the relationship with the family. The coach said that when a child is in utero or newborn, and the mother doesn’t want the child or is unsure, it shows up at birth as a painful experience that the child lives on with.

Chiron is an example of what she is stating. The child was born, the mother threw him away and Apollo trained him to be a warrior. He also had a wife who helped him heal and she was a nymph.

I replied to her thread stating how my mother told me that she didn’t want to keep me but my father said that I was not going anywhere. It made me feel up and down. After all, she didn’t want to keep me because she was so young with multiple children and he did want to keep me but was not living a life of integrity with women he had children with.

So I was torn seeing both sides of their feelings and mine. I felt like I was a burden to her and I tried to find ways to get away from her so she could get whatever relief she needed that my existence was robbing in her life.

I started doing math on living alone and how much I needed to make to get stable when I was 15 years old. I saved my money as much as possible but I didn’t like full-time working hours when I was 19 years old.

Eventually, I did move out at 21, and back in later out of state, and I found myself feeling like a huge burden on her with my daughter all over again.

To hear my mother say that she doesn’t have to love me hurt. I couldn’t see myself being that way towards my own children because we didn’t have the same conviction about what DIVINE POWER is.

I understand the autonomy that she has been showing in her decisions. I just know that it hurt me how she implied it.

It’s been a deeply emotional experience to share with someone else that my mother is very distant from me and always has been. She assumed that I didn’t need her as much as my sister did because I was not very needy in my emotional reaction to her. But I had been through the loss of my relationship with her at an early age and I was always questioning who my mother was. I had no baby pictures, just from youth, I look very much like my father and I knew my father loved me very much. And since he’s been gone from earth's side since 2022, I’m more diligent about reminding myself that I love myself and I treat myself to love as much as I can.

I held myself back especially with anger because I knew I was unwanted and knew that I could still exist in this life. I counted myself out and accepted less than good because I knew that I was unwanted for some reason. So the idea of a man not wanting me never hurt me, on the surface at least, because my own mother didn’t. That’s always going to bring me perspective on everything in life. But it can stop me from feeling wanted by someone who truly does love me. I can pass up good offers if I’m still stuck on my mother’s words. I have an opportunity to heal and not make this pain my identity anymore because my projects are not about pain. But they are created to support those who support themselves and I am here for them. The same way I am here for me.

Yeah, it was a pain to hear from my mother that she was fed up with children when I arrived or when I saw others taking their mothers for granted but I realized that it wasn’t right but it’s okay. Everything unfolding is justice, poetically speaking.

What is your Chiron sign?

I Found DIVINE POWER During the Longest Night of the Year

 

As I lay there in the moss and trees, looking up at the starry sky, feeling overwhelmed with my life being so low, I felt ethereal.

I cried a little bit. I had accepted my fate. I’m broke. I can’t stay in a hotel or an Airbnb anymore. I lost the job I just got. I can’t call anyone for help because I am embarrassed by current circumstances and I let somebody else make me feel like there’s nothing anybody would want to do for me anyway.

As I left the hotel looking at my accounts in regret, I felt a sense of sadness and despair I’d never felt before but always knew would come. I abandoned my ego and began to drag behind me my entire existence in a suitcase with the rest in my back down the street. I felt the need to cross the road and find somewhere I felt somewhat safe and hidden from anyone else. I started walking up to this office building complex. It was getting cold and I was tired from trying to find shelter all day on and off buses in the city. I cut into the trees and started walking through the grassy area, feeling the sticks from branches crunch under my feet.

My suitcase wheel was stuck in a muddy spot so I just dropped the handle. Nearby was a stream of water running. I took off my book bag and started making my sleeping area. I used it as my pillow and looked up. I saw the clear star-studded sky. No clouds or irritable lighting from the streets were blocking my view.

This was supposedly the evening when all the black people got superpowers. But I was so hurt at how low I fell from grace that it wasn’t even a thought.

I remember just being one with everything.

After I made a post on my Facebook asking for help with $50 to have another night at the motel 6 near me, I stared into space. I started thinking about how I had nothing. I had No one. I was completely alone in all my efforts to change things around. I sacrificed my comfort for truth. I sacrificed everything including my pride by leaving my children with their fathers to finally get my life together by starting to focus on taking care of me! And I sunk into a new low I was avoiding for so many years, homelessness.

Most magically, I told myself, “Hey, it’s not that bad. I’m still alive and well. They’re safe and supported, not in this shitty feeling!”

Then I heard myself saying how I just accept it as is. I’m No longer fighting to make things my way anymore. I surrender to whatever the divine wants me to do. In my own voice I said aloud, “DIVINE POWER whatever you will, I will do it! I give up doing it on my own! I’m tired of being lost and tricked!”

And just like that, I received the $50 to go to the hotel. I went to my Facebook page while I got up off the ground. A guy from high school saw my post, asked if I was alright, and sent me the money. I was so grateful and I thanked him for his generosity.

I went back to the motel 6, got a room, and went to sleep quickly.

The next day I checked out the joint, hopped on the bus with the pass I bought, and went to the mall.

I said out loud. “Angel guides, I’m ready to go home now. Show me what to do!”

An hour later, my uncle called me on Facebook to ask me to come home and sent me a car to the bus station and he picked me up. His coworkers gave me some clothes, lotion, perfumes, purses, and a heavy coat with winter boots. I was working in a plan for making money as a self-employed person and I kept repeating the manifesto anytime I was overwhelmed by emotion that was good and bad. I thought I was going to get money from the government to pay for my temporary car but it wasn’t coming that quickly. So I said, “well, I must have to go home to get the money I need and when I do, I’ll get the car and start work immediately!”

I did two offerings to Oshun when I came home. Once because of a dream I had and the next day I got the gifts from my uncles coworkers. The second one was for after I received my car for work. I got a lump sum of money, got new glasses and while I was sitting in the car I was thinking about how to spend more of it. Then I asked myself, “what did I say I was going to do?” And the car I test drove in Marietta had rode passing us at the red light and I remembered that I said I would complete the task and get the car!

I booked the reservation and then a ride to the car, paid my rental fee and deposit, then went to the parking garage to see the vehicle that I was going to get. It was the exact same car that I test drove in a later year. I sage and invoke my gratitude for that day and opportunity. I took the car to get a wash and went to the river once I got honey and gave the offering to her.

Now astrologically speaking I was in my Saturn return during this transitional period. I had lost everything I was trying to hold onto with No real way of understanding how to do it with so much opposition. Every time I thought I figured it out, I got the wind knocked out of me to the point where I saw I had to start over again, from scratch.

The longest night of 2020, after the election drama, the mask BS, the most important part of this was that my faith rose to the occasion. Something deep inside of me was waiting for birth in my life. I had finally had enough of leading my life without any other source to guide me. I felt like a child trying to make decisions about things I had no clue to deal with because I just wanted to be great and successful. I was impulsive with my choices for so long that I didn’t realize it until I couldn’t move anymore from it.

Saturn really did that for me.

Awakening me to my true potential meant that I had to surrender to the present reality. I had to release my limited knowledge and perspective of what is possible and let the higher power be a part of my journey. It wasn’t missing in action, it was just in the background and I didn’t want to listen to it because it reminded me of how wrong I was about things. And those things were me trying my absolute best to fix my mistakes. I abandoned myself in every relationship I was in and then they abandoned me in return. I gave so much positivity for them to reach their potential and never gave myself the same. And if I ever had, I was always met with opposition and hurt that I never understood. And therefore, I abandoned my own feelings for the sake of others' peace and respect that they never had.

That long night outside is a bookmark for me to always remember what is important to me and how I can make it through. I will always be grateful for what the divine gift me and multiple that back into the universe.

I understood what oneness is all about when I had no choice but to surrender to the fact that it is what it is. The peace I found was undeniable and I felt so much better knowing that the key was acceptance all along. It’s never the end. And besides, with any situation and circumstance, I can handle it. I always have.